party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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