Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
