One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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