her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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