Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
