I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
