you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
