my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
