So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
