the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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