i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
