My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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