Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just blew my weed a kiss
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
