So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
