So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
