she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
