I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Sext me about skeletons
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
