i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
