remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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