Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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