Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
