hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
