Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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