My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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