Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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