I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
