I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
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