He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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