let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
