I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize