walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
