Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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