Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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