All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
