Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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