Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
