did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
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I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
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High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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