I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
