so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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