There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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