I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
