Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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