Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
my liver is dry heaving
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
