Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
