I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
