I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
