Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
