I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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