You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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