I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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