haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
