Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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