my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
