I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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