I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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