he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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