but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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