he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
