Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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