Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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