I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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