Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
