I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
