Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
