FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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