CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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