I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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