from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
