Sponge bath it is.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
