i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
